The Veil of Self-Doubt

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

You know Lord, it always brings a smile to my face when I have one of those moments when I realize you’re trying to tell me something.  🙂

I spent some time today with a friend who’s been going through a series of rough personal situations over the last year or so.  I’m not at liberty to go into much detail here as it was a private conversation, but You know who she is Father.  We chatted for a while about the issues she’s been facing, how her life has changed over the past year, and the overall feelings of futility and frustration that have been troubling her as of late.  I tried to give her an outside perspective of things, and reinforced the hope that she could look at these life-changes as opportunities, and to grow stronger from her trials.  She seemed a little more upbeat by the time I left, but she certainly has a winding road ahead of her.

The one thing that stood out for me from our conversation though Father, was the lack of self-worth she portrayed.  She’s a beautiful, sweet, intelligent lady but with all that she’s been through her impression of herself seems to have taken a pretty significant hit.

Back in my office a little later in the day, I sat down to write out some thoughts for today’s discussion with You, and suddenly I had a strong urge to see what I’d posted on this date last year.  Although I hadn’t fully started writing full-length blog entries at that point Father, I was posting some “Quick Notes to God” on my Facebook wall every couple of days.  The entry for August 31, 2010 read:

Dear Lord; Sometimes, when it feels as if the world is on our shoulders, it’s very difficult to see ourselves in a positive light. May all those in the throes of turmoil see themselves, if just for a moment, through Your loving eyes and know that warmth and peace. Amen. ~Phather Phil

I love it when You do this to me Father.  🙂

We all suffer from a lack of confidence and feelings of self-doubt now and again, but there are three very important truths we can use to combat those emotions:

1. We’re not alone.  Friends, family and our Brothers and Sisters in Christ are some of Your most powerful Blessings to us Father.  You gave us one another to lean on in times of trial, to mourn with in sadness, and to celebrate with in times of joy.

2. You believe in us.  We are completely Your creations Lord; fearfully and wonderfully made, and You know what we’re capable of.  Although our flawed natures may allow fear and doubt to creep in, You never lose confidence in us.

3. When we place our burdens at the foot of the Cross, You give us the strength we need.  Sometimes it’s difficult to remember when we’re engulfed by stress, but we’re not meant to do this by ourselves.  You’re bigger than anything we could possibly face, and when we open our hearts to Your guidance, we find the path forward.

Heavenly Father, please help us pierce the veil of self-doubt that can cloud our perception of ourselves.  Wrap us in Your presence, and let us move forward with the knowledge that through all the trials we face in our lives, You’re always by our side.

We are special, we are loved, and we are Yours Father.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Praying in Arrogance

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

I love when You place things on my heart Lord… I gain so much perspective from those moments.

As You know, I’ve been in “worry mode” lately Father; worried about the business not doing as well as I’d like, worried about the kids being prepared to go back to school, worried about not having medical insurance at the moment, and worried that all this worrying is getting in the way of my hearing You clearly.  And although I’m usually able to squelch those feelings by focusing on the many Blessings in my life, I’ll admit to having allowed those negative emotions to overwhelm me more than once in recent days.  This morning was one of those instances.

Thankfully, You decided it was time to get my attention.

Driving to an appointment this morning, my thoughts were churning; systematically cycling through all of the complications the past month had brought.  I felt weighted, and edgy, and my temples throbbed in sympathetic rhythm with my pounding chest.  I’d almost reached my destination, when You abruptly interrupted my train of thought…

“Turn your worries into prayers.”  You whispered.

“But I have prayed about them…” I thought to myself.  “Haven’t I??”

And then the light bulb went off… Ouch.

I realized that although I’ve been praying Father, it’s not always been from the right perspective.  Instead of first giving You thanks, and then praying for Your direction in fulfilling Your desires for my life, I’ve instead allowed my worries, fears and anxieties to dictate my prayers.  I’ve prayed for what I believed would be the best solutions to my problems, when I should have placed these situations fully in Your hands, and listened for Your guidance as to the proper path to take.  I was praying for what I wanted to happen, instead of to be a part of what You wanted to happen.

I hadn’t realized I was praying in arrogance Father…  Please forgive me.

Heavenly Father, please fill me with Your divine perspective that I may look to Your counsel first, and then act on Your behalf.  I’m very much a work in progress Lord, and my deepest desire is to grow closer to You with each passing day.

More of You Father… Less of me.

In Jesus’ Name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil

The Ground Beneath Us

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

Well Father, I had a completely different post planned for today but once again, You’ve redirected me along a different path.

At around 1:51pm EST, an earthquake measuring 5.8 in magnitude occurred in Mineral, Virginia, sending shocks outward reaching as far as New York; and shaking the ground under us here in Delaware as well.  This was the first earthquake I’ve had any experience with Father, and it was to say the least unnerving.  Once the initial surprise wore off however, my concerns immediately shifted to those closer to the event itself.  If this earthquake could rock my shop all the way up in Delaware, what must those nearer to it’s source be dealing with?  And while I realize that compared to places like California and Japan who regularly deal with much larger quakes, for an area not used to seismic events such as this, there can certainly be damage, fear and suffering as a result.

Therefore Lord, today I’d like to direct my thoughts and prayers to those impacted by this earthquake.

The following is a small piece of a prayer written by Diana Macalintal following the Haiti Earthquake in January, 2010.  While I realize the scopes of the two quakes put them in completely different categories, I found it a wonderfully poignant and beautiful prayer and wanted to share it nonetheless.  I pray it brings comfort to anyone dealing with fallout from today’s event.

Lord, at times such as this,
when we realize that the ground beneath our feet
is not as solid as we had imagined,
we plead for your mercy.

As the things we have built crumble about us,
we know too well how small we truly are
on this ever-changing, ever-moving,
fragile planet we call home.
Yet you have promised never to forget us.

Do not forget us now.

For though the mountains leave their place
and the hills be tossed to the ground,
your love shall never leave us,
and your promise of peace will never be shaken.

Our help is in the name of the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
Blessed be the name of the Lord,
now and forever.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Thankful Thursday: The Right Perspective

Dear Lord; Happy Thankful Thursday Father!

You know Father, as I’ve mentioned before I really LOVE Thankful Thursday posts.  While I try to give thanks each day for the abundance of Blessings You grace me with, having a weekly post that leads me to recollect all the little things that bring a smile to my heart puts me in exactly the right perspective:

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

I ran across a blog posting today at stevenfurtick.com that said it beautifully:

“With God, ‘thank you’ should always come before ‘please.’ The first thing that needs to come out of my mouth in prayer and worship needs to be praise for who God is and what He has done. Not just instructions for what I want or even need Him to do.”

So true.

Therefore Father, with that perspective firmly embedded in my heart, this week I’ve been thankful for:

196. A silly, giggly, tasty dinner with Shannon and the kids at a new Mexican Restaurant.

197. Getting some “one-on-one” time with Aidan while Jonathan was away at Kay’s Kamp.

198. For a sweet Bloggy Friend who reminded me to look at flowering weeds as flowers, and not weeds (Thank you Jean!).

199. Cool, clear mornings which let me leave my windows down in the truck on the way to work.

200. A fun night out with my lovely Wife last Friday night.

201. Getting the opportunity to attend “Media Day” at Kay’s Kamp, and seeing the Blessed work they do for the children.

202. Inspiring testimonies from courageous people.

203. Getting well over 50,000 miles on my truck tires before having to replace them.

204. Free lifetime map and software updates available for my GPS.

205. Finding new school uniform clothing for the boys at Goodwill dirt cheap.

206. Jonathan having another wonderful week away at Kay’s Kamp.

207. Having inexpensive generic versions available for the medications we take.

208. Tootsie Fruit Rolls.

209. My portable digital voice recorder that allows me to note things I’m thankful for at the time they come to me.

210. Waking up next to the lady I love each and every day.

Heavenly Father, once again I thank You for all the Blessings You grace our lives with each day; both those that shine brilliantly with Your Light, and those that Bless us quietly, without fanfare.  I pray that You will continue to open my eyes wider to Your gifts, that I may appreciate them to the full.

In Jesus’ Name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Do Unto Others…

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

First off Father, I want to raise Kim Miller up in prayer to You once again.  Her powerful testimony in the video I linked to in yesterday’s post has very much been in my thoughts, and continues to inspire further introspection of my own Faith.  Lord, please grant Kim Your peace, Your comfort and if it be Your Will, Your healing that she may continue to know Your abundant presence in her life.

Today Father, I’d like to discuss manners and courtesy, or more specifically the lack of them I’ve been seeing as of late.

During a quick trip at lunchtime over to the nearby WalMart, I was confronted a number of times with blatant examples of selfishness, disrespect and a general disinterest in the feelings of others.  Simple little things like:

In a busy parking lot, taking up two full spaces to avoid being parked next to…

People not looking behind them when going through a door to see if someone is following close by before letting it swing closed…

Shoppers standing in the middle of a narrow aisle chatting while people and carts sit behind them waiting for them to move…

Parents allowing their young children to run around unsupervised and then getting upset when other people question them…

Leaving shopping carts rolling all over the parking lot when there are plenty of cart return stations nearby…

It’s very frustrating to witness such widespread disregard Father.  And while I certainly ran into several smiling, courteous folks today as well, they were somehow less obvious than those whose focus was very much on themselves.  Now, I’ve absolutely been guilty of allowing my mood to sidetrack my manners now and again Lord… I believe we all have.  This begs the question; how would You have us act towards others so as to best reflect Your Love?

With forgiveness and compassion:

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

With thought and empathy:

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” – Luke 6:31 (NIV)

In the spirit of peace and unity:

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” – Romans 14:19 (NIV)

With humility:

“For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” – Luke 14:11 (NIV)

And with Love:

“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”” – Galatians 5:14 (NIV)

It’s so handy having Your Instruction Manual Father.  🙂

Heavenly Father, please help guide our words and actions to best exemplify the behavior that You desire of us.  Make Your light visible through our lives, so that others may witness the peace and compassion of Your presence in us.

In Jesus’ Name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil