As Long As You’ll Permit

Dear Lord; Happy Friday Father!

Thank You Father!!  Thank You, thank You, thank You!!

What a wonderful Blessing You’ve given us Lord… Such a beautiful way to start the weekend!

For those who follow our conversations and don’t know the source of my joy Father, please indulge me while I explain.

A couple months ago, we had Jonathan in for his yearly check-up with his pediatrician.  It was a routine visit, but due to his complicated medical situation (Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis), doctor’s appointments always place some concern in our hearts.  For the most part, everything went quite well; nothing obviously scary to report.  Then the doctor examined some new “growths” that had popped up on him over the last year; up went the red flags, and down went our spirits.  She labeled them as “suspicious”, and indicated that we should have them looked at by Jonathan’s oncologist as soon as possible. We tried of course to stay optimistic, but the seed of worry had been sown all the same.

The oncology visit didn’t yield much in the way of answers either, but added another round of “concerns” and a referral to a pediatric dermatologist for a specialized examination and if necessary, treatment and surgical intervention.  The oncologist did however, indicate that the possible skin involvement was all that appeared out of the ordinary at the moment, and that all his other tests and scans looked perfectly normal.  That news certainly eased our fears a bit, but based on past experience with this disease, our guard was still up nonetheless.

Today, Jonathan went to see the dermatologist.

They’re moles Father… All perfectly normal, and nothing to be concerned about.  But You already knew that, didn’t You?  🙂

Please forgive my doubts Lord… I know he’s in Your hands no matter what, and I’m so thankful for that.  But each time we have the specter of this disease rear it’s gnarled claws, it takes our hearts back to that terrifying time of uncertainty and fear, when the possible loss of our son was very real.  And while I realize Lord, that this life is temporary and simply a step towards Your Eternal Kingdom, Shannon and I are selfish in that we love this little boy dearly, and very much want him to remain with us for as long as You’ll permit.

Apparently, that’s Your desire for the moment as well… And I thank You from the bottom of my heart for that Blessing!

In Jesus’ Name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil

P.S. September is Histiocytosis Awareness Month.  To learn more about this life threatening disease, and what you can do to help in the search for a cure, please visit : http://www.histio.org.

The Veil of Self-Doubt

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

You know Lord, it always brings a smile to my face when I have one of those moments when I realize you’re trying to tell me something.  🙂

I spent some time today with a friend who’s been going through a series of rough personal situations over the last year or so.  I’m not at liberty to go into much detail here as it was a private conversation, but You know who she is Father.  We chatted for a while about the issues she’s been facing, how her life has changed over the past year, and the overall feelings of futility and frustration that have been troubling her as of late.  I tried to give her an outside perspective of things, and reinforced the hope that she could look at these life-changes as opportunities, and to grow stronger from her trials.  She seemed a little more upbeat by the time I left, but she certainly has a winding road ahead of her.

The one thing that stood out for me from our conversation though Father, was the lack of self-worth she portrayed.  She’s a beautiful, sweet, intelligent lady but with all that she’s been through her impression of herself seems to have taken a pretty significant hit.

Back in my office a little later in the day, I sat down to write out some thoughts for today’s discussion with You, and suddenly I had a strong urge to see what I’d posted on this date last year.  Although I hadn’t fully started writing full-length blog entries at that point Father, I was posting some “Quick Notes to God” on my Facebook wall every couple of days.  The entry for August 31, 2010 read:

Dear Lord; Sometimes, when it feels as if the world is on our shoulders, it’s very difficult to see ourselves in a positive light. May all those in the throes of turmoil see themselves, if just for a moment, through Your loving eyes and know that warmth and peace. Amen. ~Phather Phil

I love it when You do this to me Father.  🙂

We all suffer from a lack of confidence and feelings of self-doubt now and again, but there are three very important truths we can use to combat those emotions:

1. We’re not alone.  Friends, family and our Brothers and Sisters in Christ are some of Your most powerful Blessings to us Father.  You gave us one another to lean on in times of trial, to mourn with in sadness, and to celebrate with in times of joy.

2. You believe in us.  We are completely Your creations Lord; fearfully and wonderfully made, and You know what we’re capable of.  Although our flawed natures may allow fear and doubt to creep in, You never lose confidence in us.

3. When we place our burdens at the foot of the Cross, You give us the strength we need.  Sometimes it’s difficult to remember when we’re engulfed by stress, but we’re not meant to do this by ourselves.  You’re bigger than anything we could possibly face, and when we open our hearts to Your guidance, we find the path forward.

Heavenly Father, please help us pierce the veil of self-doubt that can cloud our perception of ourselves.  Wrap us in Your presence, and let us move forward with the knowledge that through all the trials we face in our lives, You’re always by our side.

We are special, we are loved, and we are Yours Father.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Thankful Thursday: On Our Toes

Dear Lord; Happy Thankful Thursday Father!

Well Father, You’re certainly providing us with an eventful week here in Delaware.  Between the earthquake that we experienced on Tuesday and the impending arrival of hurricane Irene this weekend, we’re very much “on our toes” around here.  And while we’ll of course be preparing as best we can for the potential effects of the storm, my fears are allayed by the knowledge that we’re in Your capable hands.

It’s been a slightly stressful week for me Lord, however as always Your Blessings in my life shine through that haze.  To continue my Thankful Thursday list, this week I’m especially grateful for:

211. The sounds of crickets serenading me as I sit on our deck at night.

212. Jonathan and Aidan having a great first day back at school.

213. Shannon having a wonderful first day of work.

214. A smooth server installation for a new client today.

215. No damage or injuries from the earthquake that happened this week.

216. The soothing effect Praise Music has on Jonathan when he’s stressed.

217. Feeling more “in-tune” with Your Presence each day.

218. A significant surge in business this past week.

219. Having a dedicated Service Manager (and close friend) who keeps my business going.

220. Melatonin supplements to help with getting my sleep cycle back on track.

221. Fabric Softener.

222. The inner peace I draw from Your Presence.

223. Port wine cheese spread on Ritz crackers.

224. The fact that my kids still like to snuggle up with me.  🙂

225. Neighbors that keep a watchful eye on our home, and let us know when they see something that may be wrong.

And I’m just getting started Father.  🙂

Heavenly Father, I pray that the peace of Your presence is felt by all those gripped by fear as this hurricane heads towards us.  Please keep those in harm’s way in Your watchful gaze, and bring us all safely through the storm.

In Jesus’ Name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil

The Ground Beneath Us

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

Well Father, I had a completely different post planned for today but once again, You’ve redirected me along a different path.

At around 1:51pm EST, an earthquake measuring 5.8 in magnitude occurred in Mineral, Virginia, sending shocks outward reaching as far as New York; and shaking the ground under us here in Delaware as well.  This was the first earthquake I’ve had any experience with Father, and it was to say the least unnerving.  Once the initial surprise wore off however, my concerns immediately shifted to those closer to the event itself.  If this earthquake could rock my shop all the way up in Delaware, what must those nearer to it’s source be dealing with?  And while I realize that compared to places like California and Japan who regularly deal with much larger quakes, for an area not used to seismic events such as this, there can certainly be damage, fear and suffering as a result.

Therefore Lord, today I’d like to direct my thoughts and prayers to those impacted by this earthquake.

The following is a small piece of a prayer written by Diana Macalintal following the Haiti Earthquake in January, 2010.  While I realize the scopes of the two quakes put them in completely different categories, I found it a wonderfully poignant and beautiful prayer and wanted to share it nonetheless.  I pray it brings comfort to anyone dealing with fallout from today’s event.

Lord, at times such as this,
when we realize that the ground beneath our feet
is not as solid as we had imagined,
we plead for your mercy.

As the things we have built crumble about us,
we know too well how small we truly are
on this ever-changing, ever-moving,
fragile planet we call home.
Yet you have promised never to forget us.

Do not forget us now.

For though the mountains leave their place
and the hills be tossed to the ground,
your love shall never leave us,
and your promise of peace will never be shaken.

Our help is in the name of the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
Blessed be the name of the Lord,
now and forever.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Thankful Thursday: The Right Perspective

Dear Lord; Happy Thankful Thursday Father!

You know Father, as I’ve mentioned before I really LOVE Thankful Thursday posts.  While I try to give thanks each day for the abundance of Blessings You grace me with, having a weekly post that leads me to recollect all the little things that bring a smile to my heart puts me in exactly the right perspective:

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

I ran across a blog posting today at stevenfurtick.com that said it beautifully:

“With God, ‘thank you’ should always come before ‘please.’ The first thing that needs to come out of my mouth in prayer and worship needs to be praise for who God is and what He has done. Not just instructions for what I want or even need Him to do.”

So true.

Therefore Father, with that perspective firmly embedded in my heart, this week I’ve been thankful for:

196. A silly, giggly, tasty dinner with Shannon and the kids at a new Mexican Restaurant.

197. Getting some “one-on-one” time with Aidan while Jonathan was away at Kay’s Kamp.

198. For a sweet Bloggy Friend who reminded me to look at flowering weeds as flowers, and not weeds (Thank you Jean!).

199. Cool, clear mornings which let me leave my windows down in the truck on the way to work.

200. A fun night out with my lovely Wife last Friday night.

201. Getting the opportunity to attend “Media Day” at Kay’s Kamp, and seeing the Blessed work they do for the children.

202. Inspiring testimonies from courageous people.

203. Getting well over 50,000 miles on my truck tires before having to replace them.

204. Free lifetime map and software updates available for my GPS.

205. Finding new school uniform clothing for the boys at Goodwill dirt cheap.

206. Jonathan having another wonderful week away at Kay’s Kamp.

207. Having inexpensive generic versions available for the medications we take.

208. Tootsie Fruit Rolls.

209. My portable digital voice recorder that allows me to note things I’m thankful for at the time they come to me.

210. Waking up next to the lady I love each and every day.

Heavenly Father, once again I thank You for all the Blessings You grace our lives with each day; both those that shine brilliantly with Your Light, and those that Bless us quietly, without fanfare.  I pray that You will continue to open my eyes wider to Your gifts, that I may appreciate them to the full.

In Jesus’ Name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil