Intentionally In His Presence

“Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.” – Mark 1:35 (NLT)

Just as Jesus awoke early to commune with His Heavenly Father, so should we all make time each day to spend specifically with Him.  Every moment spent intentionally in God’s presence strengthens our relationship to Him, and draws us that much closer to His desire for our lives.

Out of the Valley

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

“I’m a failure Father.

I’ve failed my family…

I’ve failed my friends…

And I’ve failed You…

I’m so sorry Lord… Please forgive me.”

Those words hung painfully in the quiet presence of the sanctuary at Ewell’s-St. Paul last Tuesday evening as I knelt at the altar, while the joyful sounds of children enjoying Vacation Bible School in the rooms below brought contrast to the silence.  Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I looked up at Hofmann’s painting of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, realizing in anguish how distant I felt from You right at that moment.

The world had come crashing in around me; laying waste to the essence of my being with such force that I scarcely knew what direction to turn.  I felt beaten, and worthless, and in the midst of that weakness the enemy found me…

“You’ve let everybody down…

You’ve squandered the opportunities God gave you…

You’re a failure.”

And yes Father, at that moment I believed it; every whisper, every word.

I was ashamed Lord…

Ashamed of my impotence to resolve the current crises, but even more so that I believed myself unworthy and was unable to lay them at Your feet.  I’d separated myself from Your presence, and in that valley realized the true depth of my limitations.

I’d lost Your voice Father, and felt isolated and alone in my pain; defined not by my heavenly inheritance, but instead by my fragile humanity.

And yet, as I have so many times before Lord, on that altar covered in tear-stained apologies I began the journey out of that valley, and back to You.

No booming voice came from the sky to direct me…

My struggles and pain weren’t instantly silenced by Your divine hand…

And my heart still ached from the perception of my failings.

But kneeling in the quiet,

As the fading light of dusk gave life to shadow,

I knew that You were with me…

And that You still love me.

So with that truth as my guide Lord, I reach for You; climbing out of the valley one step at a time until Your heavenly light banishes these lies from my heart, and I’m reminded that I’m not defined by my worldly perceptions of failure, but instead through the love of my Heavenly Father.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Just Love Them…

Dear Lord; Happy Monday Father!

You know Father, I’ve very much come to enjoy our morning discussions as I make my way into the office each day.  That period of quiet communion, when I’m able to open my thoughts and heart to You have provided a great many insights on Your perspective and will for my life…

And this morning was no exception.

My head was a noisy place today Lord, with threads of thought shooting off in a seemingly endless variety of directions…

Most of them not happy ones.

As we’ve discussed many times in recent months Father, my struggles and trials have been quite formidable this past year.  And although Your hand has guided me surely through each of those challenges, new and more daunting issues seem to always swoop in to take their place.  It’s been a time of great frustration for me Lord, as You well know.

And on today’s commute, my mind was engaged full-tilt in dealing with it all;

The constant barrage of struggles I face in keeping my business alive during a bad economy…

Seeing a good many friends and family members dealing with painful, hurtful and difficult situations…

Straining each month to make ends meet, only to have additional unexpected expenses show up…

And each day running into more and more people who choose to unleash their anger, fear and frustrations on those around them…

“Just love them…” You whispered softly.

My mind went quiet for a moment as Your words lingered on my heart, but my ire still wasn’t ready to let go just yet:

“But Father, I’ve got enough problems of my own… Really?”

“Phil, Just show them My love.”

And then the light bulb went off.

I wasn’t facing my struggles alone, and they didn’t have to either.

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”” – Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

The anger, the fear and the frustration I’ve been feeling and seeing manifested in others all stems from a basic disconnect; the parting of our hearts from Yours.  We’ve allowed the world to set our boundaries, not remembering that in Your divine company, no such impediments exist.

I get it Father.  I shouldn’t be allowing the stress of this world’s burdens to overwhelm me…  They aren’t mine to shoulder.  The more I release my angst and place my faith and trust in You, the more of my efforts and energies can be directed to bringing that compassion and caring to others;

The less of me I cling to Lord, the more of You I share.

Such a simple, fundamental truth Father, yet one with powerful roots to grow from.

Help me Lord;

To place aside my doubts and fears and truly embrace Your presence in my life…

To remember that as I carry my worldly cross, You carry me…

And to channel the care and compassion You so freely offer to those in need…

And “Just love them…”

All these I pray in Jesus’ name,

Amen.

~Phather Phil

I Surrender

Dear Lord; Happy Friday Father!

“Surrender, Phil…”

Your words echoed painfully throughout my heart this morning Lord; binding me to a realization I’ve been purposefully ignoring these past several weeks…

I haven’t been trusting You completely.

I’ve worried…

I’ve struggled…

I’ve panicked…

I’ve tried to handle things under my own strength…

And I’ve been feeling that crushing weight on my shoulders Lord… A weight You never intended for me to carry alone.

I’ve been swimming upstream Father, and I’m tired.

And yet, in the midst of my self-focused efforts to fight those fearsome currents Lord…

You offer me rest,

And assistance,

And grace.

“Surrender, Phil…”

Help me to see beyond my arrogance Father; with vision not clouded by earthly lenses.

Remind me Lord…

That my burdens don’t define me, but instead offer an opportunity; the chance to know Your unending love for me in a personal, intimate way:

To draw me closer to You…

To share my pain, my joys, my laughter, and my tears;

And to guide and strengthen me into the man You desire I become.

I hear You Father…

And I surrender.

~Phather Phil

The Chains of Understanding

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

As You know Lord, for the last five weeks the group I lead on Tuesday evenings has been working through a study on Francis Chan’s book “Crazy Love”.  It’s been an eye-opening and convicting exploration so far, and has challenged quite a few perspectives I’ve held on how to pursue a truly intimate relationship with You.

The group discussions this study have led to have been powerful to say the least, and have also stirred in me some challenging thoughts about other facets of my “Faith Life”, and how I perceive You…

For example, why in my arrogance do I keep You in a “box”… You’re so much bigger than that…

I study Your written word in search of Your will in my life… And yet, You’re bigger than a book.

I attend church services and functions to better focus on Your Presence… And yet, You’re bigger than a religion or a building.

I spend time and energy worrying about struggles in my life that seem impossible to overcome… And yet, You’re bigger than any problem I could possibly face.

You’re bigger…

Period.

It’s actually an amazingly freeing feeling Lord; the more I cast off the chains of “understanding” I’ve held onto for so very long and open my heart to You with abandon, I find You there waiting for me…

Beckoning me forward.

And so Father, as I continue to seek Your Presence through study, through worship and through prayer, please help me see past those earthly confines I’ve placed on You.  Expand my heart Lord, to more fully connect with Yours, and lead me to Your side.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Missing the Message for the Words

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

Today Father, I’d like to spend our time together talking about a topic You’ve placed on my heart a lot lately…

Context.

Some time ago, I was interviewed by a local TV station.  They were doing a story on a recent computer virus outbreak, and wanted to get my perspectives and recommendations to assist their viewers in recognizing and dealing with the threat.  The reporter and cameraman came to my office, and we spent the better part of a half-hour discussing ways to protect against these digital infiltrations.  Later on that evening when I turned on the TV to view the results of that interview, I was shocked by what I saw…

The story had been “chopped” to less than thirty seconds of footage, which when removed from the context of our discussion made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Needless to say Lord, I was a bit upset.

We live in a culture of “soundbytes” these days Father; grabbing the “flashy bits” in speech and print, and from them deriving uninformed, lazy, and blatantly errant opinions and positions.  We’ve lost the importance of context Lord, and that perspective has truly damaged us in many ways…

Including the way we read and apply Your Word.

Since You opened my eyes to this Father, I’ve begun to see how deep the rabbit hole really is.

The Internet, the media, the press and even the pulpit are filled with painful examples of this each and every day.  In an attempt to make a point, defend an opinion, or stand in judgment of what we perceive as wrong, we search Your Word until we find and quote a verse or two that fits our needs…

Without digging deeper to understand Your intended Truth in those words…

Without YOUR context.

I fear we miss the Message for the words Lord… Much too often.

And I won’t lie Father… I’ve been guilty of this myself.

While I try to spend as much time as possible reading, researching and absorbing Your Messages in Scripture Lord, I also know I’ve used “soundbytes” of Your Word outside their proper contexts more than once…

It’s a practice I’ll be diligently striving to avoid in the future Father.  🙂

Help us Lord;

Open our hearts and minds to seek Your WHOLE Truth in Scripture, not simply the “quotes” that suit our earthly viewpoints.  Fill us with that Holy Message Father; make us vessels of Your Will, and ambassadors of Your Love.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

Amen.

~Phather Phil