I’m Sorry, and Thank You

Dear Lord; This morning, I want to apologize to You for something, and at the same time to thank You as well.

When my son Jonathan came into the world, he was born with a very rare and very serious disease called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis which threatened to take him from us.  He was on chemotherapy and a variety of other stringent treatments starting at 10 weeks old, and we spent the following year and a half basically living in the Oncology Ward at A.I. Dupont Hospital for Children.  It was a terrifying time for my Wife and I, and we lived every day not knowing if he was going to be with us much longer.  Like many others have in that position, I asked You WHY, WHY, WHY were you doing this to us… No answer came.

While we were staying there, I was introduced to the Pastor for the Hospital.  He was a quiet man, and although he walked through a place where there was immeasurable sadness and suffering I remember that I always felt an aura of peacefulness around him.  He tried very much to comfort me at the time, but my heart was not ready to hear what he was saying, so I simply informed him that “God and I were having a difference of opinion at the moment as to what was and wasn’t reasonable.”  He smiled, and said that he understood but that when I was ready, he’d be there.  While I didn’t realize it at the time, this was the start of my Spiritual Awakening.

Time passed, and my little angel bucked all the odds and not only came through the treatments, but managed to thrive in the process.  He’ll be 11 soon, and has been in consistent remission for a little over 9 years.  He is very likely my greatest Blessing, and I thank You from the bottom of my soul for continuing to allow me to have him in my life.

Anyways, to get back to the statement I began the email with, during that period of my life I can honestly say that my Faith was at it’s lowest point.  I felt angry, tired, and persecuted and blamed You for all of it.  However, from all of the time we spent at A.I., my eyes were truly opened in a way that I never thought possible.  We witnessed tragedies, and miracles, and amazing acts of compassion and sacrifice.  What I came to realize was that while I was busy blaming You for all my fears and problems, You were actually teaching me about myself, and WHY my Faith is so important.  So Father, I’d like to apologize for my misdirected emotions, and at the same time Thank You for all you taught me through the process.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Seeing a Bigger Picture…

Dear Lord; I want to Thank You for the strength You’ve given me recently.  It’s sometimes easy to miss when the world seems to be crashing around me, but while sitting down and meditating on the blessings in my life, I realized that even with all the turmoil I’ve been through as of late, I’m still very much in Your Care.  As always, You Rock.  Amen.  ~Phather Phil

Prayers for Jonathan While He’s Away…

Dear Lord; Today Lord, my thoughts and wishes fly to my son Jonathan as he heads off on an overnight school field trip.  Now, he’s been away from home before but for some reason I still worry about him every time he goes off on a new adventure.  Although You continue to bless us with the continued remission from his Langerhans, I still tend to be a bit on the over-protective side where he’s concerned.  Please keep him in Your Loving Embrace throughout his trip, and see him safely home to his Mother and I.  Amen.  ~Phather Phil

When the World Seems Overwhelming…

Dear Lord; It’s often said that we’re our own worst critics.  I know in my case, that’s usually true.  With the times we live in it seems we’re constantly deluged with negative information from all sides, which can make even the strongest of us start to feel overwhelmed and beaten.  Once that happens, our day-to-day tasks take on a whole new perspective, and self-doubt can creep in.  Please help us focus on the positives in our lives, and to see our daily trials for what they truly are.  Raise Your Blessings in our hearts and minds, and give us the strength to go forward in Your Grace.  Amen.  ~Phather Phil

A Walk in Your Presence…

Dear Lord; Yesterday the Family and I went for a long walk in Blackbird State Forest. It was a beautiful day, and we spent the time collecting nature items for Shannon’s students and taking photos of the bountiful life around us. In that serene, magnificent setting in the company of those I love, I felt Your Presence all around me, and knew I was truly Blessed. Amen.  ~Phather Phil