For some time now Father, I’ve been feeling like You’ve been preparing me for something; teaching me hard lessons, tempering my faith and yet at the same time guiding me towards a destination somewhere “outside my box”. You’ve whispered messages of encouragement and direction into my heart, but as I called them in yesterday’s chat all those “puzzle pieces” just haven’t quite fit together yet. You told me there would be change in my life, You told me to “Expect something wonderful” and over and over again You told me to be steadfast and have Faith. I won’t sugar coat it Lord… The last year or so has been extremely difficult for me. But Father, somewhere during this time of trials something strange happened…
I found that I actually became more thankful for Your Blessings in my life, and have grown closer to You in the process.
I got to thinking about this quite a bit today, and I realized that it wasn’t the first time You’ve used hardships to teach me something important. In fact, the first time was what I consider to be the lowest point in my life and at the same time, the beginning of my understanding of what true Blessings are.
On December 14, 1999, you gave to us a wonderful, beautiful little boy whom we named Jonathan. As we’d been told for years that we couldn’t have our own biological children, Jonathan was deemed our “miracle baby”; little did we know how true that description was.
At Jonathan’s 10-week checkup, the pediatrician noticed that he looked awfully pale so she ordered some blood tests to be done. A few hours later in a flurry of anxious phone calls we were sent directly to A.I. Dupont Hospital for Children’s Oncology / Hematology department for an emergency appointment. The next several weeks to follow were to be honest, a blur. Test after test was done, and yet answers still seemed just out of everyone’s reach while terms like Leukemia, Anemia and Spherocytosis were tossed about between the physicians. Finally, on March 19th (coincidentally my 30th birthday) we were given the grim diagnosis. Jonathan had a rare disease called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis, and it had infiltrated multiple systems in his tiny little body. While the doctors were hesitant to give us any specifics about his prognosis, we were quietly informed that based on how far the disease had spread and the lack of information about it they gave him a 10 to 20% chance at best.
Shannon and I were absolutely devastated. I was lost Father, and hurt, and angry… oh was I angry.
You had started to bring me to You that day Father, although I didn’t know it at the time. We spent the majority of our time over the next 14 months living at the hospital, clinging to his life with all we had. From rounds of chemotherapy and steroids, to surgeries, to recovery protocols we stayed fast and hung our lives on every change in his condition.
I’d love to say that I prayed long, deep, faithful prayers Lord, but we both know that isn’t true. I was consumed by grief, and anger and fear. I have no doubt You were trying to talk to me then Father, but I was nothing resembling receptive.
And yet, You never left Jonathan’s side. I was broken, and lost and still You remained ever-faithful. Thank You so much for that Father. 🙂
It’s said that hindsight is 20/20, and in this case it’s an apt phrase. When I look back at that terrifying period of uncertainty in our lives, I realize that I needed to be there. In the midst of my darkest time, You were waving a lantern; pointing out things that had I not been forced to deal with, I would have never seen. It was a transformational and pivotal point in my life Lord, and it completely altered the path I’d been on. The lessons I learned in those years changed me in ways I’m still uncovering today.
Fast forward ten years time…
Life again took a new turn down the road of uncertainty. Between severe economic nightmares, the unexpected death of my best friend and a seemingly unending set of problems, the last year has been the most stressful period I’ve had since Jonathan’s illness was diagnosed. This time however, it’s different Father:
I know You’re here with me, ever-faithful, ever-vigilant. Even in my turmoil, I feel Your Peace.
See Lord, I learn. 🙂
Heavenly Father, I thank You for faithfully guiding me down the path You have laid out for me. Please keep my eyes open, my ears trained and my heart open for those whisperings You pass to me along the way. Amen.
As is my usual practice Father, I’d like to start our chat this morning by thanking You for the weekend. While I spent the bulk of it at home caring for a sick child and trying to catch up on housework, any time I get to spend with my family is a Blessing and I do appreciate it. Please continue to provide Aidan with Your Healing so that he may feel even better today, and help all of us shake off the “drowsies” that always follow the shift into daylight savings time.
As You know Father, I’ve had a troubled heart as of late. I faithfully try to lay my burdens in Your Capable Hands, but as the broken and limited being I am, I’m certainly not always successful. Seeking inspiration this morning, You placed this in my path :
“Cast your burden on the Lord—and He will sustain you.” Psalm 55:22
Cast your troubles where you have cast your sins; you have cast your sins onto Jesus—cast your troubles there also! As soon as the trouble comes, quick, the first thing, tell it to your Father in heaven! Remember, that the longer you take telling your trouble to God—the more your peace will be impaired. The longer the frost lasts—the more likely the ponds will be frozen.
Oh! It is a happy way of smoothing sorrow, when we can cast our burden upon the Lord. Oh, you agitated Christians, do not dishonor your religion by always wearing a ‘frown of concern’. Come, cast your burden upon the Lord. I see you staggering beneath a weight, which He would not feel. What seems to you a crushing burden—would be nothing but a bit of dust to Him. See! The Almighty bends His shoulders, and He says, “Here—put your troubles here!”
“Cast all your cares upon Him—because He cares about you!” 1 Peter 5:7
– Charles Spurgeon
What a wonderful and energetic sermon to pray on Father! Reading this, I realized that in many cases I tend to let problems and stresses build up inside me before talking with You about them. By the time they truly beset my spirit, I’ve let them grow into a much deeper hold on me than if I had just worked them through with You when they first presented.
Such a simple lesson that I’ve ministered to others more than once, and yet somehow I’ve allowed myself to fall into this trap.
Heavenly Father, thank You for placing this message in front of me today… I absolutely needed it. As I’ve said many times, I’m a work in progress and awed by Your Faithfulness in leading me along Your Path. Amen.
Well Father, it’s certainly been a roller-coaster of a week. You’ve been extremely “chatty” with me as of late and while I don’t completely understand these urgings You’re placing on my heart yet, I’m starting to put some of the pieces together. Either way Lord, I am paying attention. 🙂
Today Father, I’d like to lift a dear friend of mine up in prayer. He’s going through a very rough time at the moment, and he’s hurting deeply inside. He’s been an incredible support and Blessing both to myself and my business over the years, and has always encouraged me on my journey to Your Service. Please bring Your Healing Presence to his heart Father, and grant him the comfort he needs to be strong during this time of trial.
To close out the week Lord, I’d like to once again share some music that uplifts and inspires me. One of my favorite Christian Artists for many years has been Mark Schultz. He initially grabbed my attention almost ten years ago with “He’s My Son”, which I first heard while Jonathan was going through chemotherapy. Recently however, he seems to be coming out with one amazing new song after another. One of those that truly makes my heart swell is “Love Has Come” :
He’s a truly talented artist Father, and I can feel Your Love each time I hear this song. The chorus says it all :
“Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess
That God is love and love has come for us all
Every heart set free, every one will see
That God is love and love has come for us all”
As You’re undoubtedly aware Father, it’s a dreary, rainy day here in Delaware. It’s just one of those mornings where I wake up, look outside, and seriously contemplate finding some excuse to crawl back under the covers. Alas, today that wasn’t an option so out into the weather I went.
Driving into the office following teacher conferences at the boys’ school (which went very well… thank You!), I started contemplating the lingering clouds and falling rain a little bit more. Like all of Your Gifts to us, the rain has a purpose; it supports and nourishes life, and cleanses the landscape it traverses. While we may not always feel joyous when the weather shifts, it is one of Your Blessings to us all the same.
And then comes the rainbow…
“And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”” – Genesis 9:12-16 (NIV)
I LOVE this Lord: a rainbow is the reminder of Your covenant with us. What an amazing signature You have Father! Noah must have had such a smile on his face seeing that first rainbow. 🙂
Today Father, You also placed on my heart the idea to start “Thankful Thursday” here on phatherphil.org. The concept I had was that on each Thursday’s message to You, I’d close by listing some of the things I’ve been especially thankful for this week. Just for curiosity’s sake, I did a quick Google search on the phrase and found that it was already something that was being done and coordinated on another site. The site is a blog called “Grace Alone…”, and I’m pleased to link to her site today.
This week has been a hectic roller-coaster-ride Lord, but it’s funny that during those crazy days I find myself even more thankful for Your Blessings. As this is the first “Thankful Thursday” entry for me, I’ll start with the most obvious and significant miracle in my life:
I’m extremely thankful for the unending support of my wonderful wife Shannon. As You know Father, things have been difficult business-wise over the last several months. Through every up-and-down, she’s always been there for me with words of comfort and encouragement. Her love is an amazing gift Lord, and I feel truly Blessed having her as my wife.
There are so many other Blessings You grant me each day Lord, but we’ll start there. 🙂
Heavenly Father, I thank You for the cleansing rain and the vibrant reminder of Your Covenant that will soon follow. I pray we can all see through the apparent gloom and witness Your Shining Majesty in each of our lives today. Amen.
Wow Father, what a busy weekend! Between projects for work, helping the kids with homework, cleaning, laundry, dishes and cooking I think the craziness at the office will seem a little easier this morning. 🙂 Either way, I was Blessed to spend lots of time with people I love and was wonderfully productive so for that I thank You!
Along with the plethora of activity this weekend Lord, I was able to spend some time with Your Book reading in Genesis. For some reason, I was drawn to the narrative of Joseph and reread it several times. It made enough of an impact on me Father, that with Your indulgence I’d like to discuss this important story this morning.
Following Joseph’s betrayal at the hands of his brothers and being sold into slavery, he was taken to Egypt and sold into the service of one of Pharaoh’s officials named Potiphar.
“The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.” – Genesis 39:2-5 (NIV)
This really struck several points with me Father. First off, it must have been very obvious to Joseph’s master that You were with him to bestow that level of trust to a slave so quickly. I so want Your Light to shine through me like that! Secondly, through the trust placed in Joseph by Potiphar, his household became Blessed as well. This emphasized a very significant truth to me as well Lord; If we show Your Light to those around us, we Bless them as well!
But as you know Father, Joseph’s trials didn’t end there. He was later falsely accused and imprisoned, and yet his faith in You was stalwart. Even then, It was evident to the jailer that You were by his side and he was therefore placed in charge of the other prisoners.
“So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there.” – Genesis 39:22 (NIV)
This position then led to his encounter with two of Pharaoh’s officials who had offended the king and been imprisoned for their indiscretions. Through Your Voice, Joseph interpreted dreams from each man, the events of which then came to pass as described. However, the official that had promised favor for Joseph upon his release quickly forgot his vow, and Joseph remained incarcerated for two more years.
And yet, Joseph’s faith never wavered.
Then Pharaoh had some dreams which left him troubled. He called on the expertise of his magicians and wise men, but none could provide a meaning for the nighttime messages. Pharaoh’s chief cupbearer, whom Joseph had aided those two years prior was suddenly reminded of his accurate reading, and made Pharaoh aware of Joseph’s ability. Joseph was then summoned, and again through Your Voice was able to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams. Yet again, Your Presence in Joseph was so obvious that Pharaoh placed him in charge of his palace and of all his subjects, second only in authority to the king.
“Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.”” – Genesis 41:39-40 (NIV)
With his newly found position, Joseph went to work preparing Egypt for the famine which had been prophesized to come. Once again, Joseph’s rock-solid faith not only granted him Blessings in his own life, but also Blessed those around him as well.
Heavenly Father, thank You for placing Joseph’s example in my heart this weekend. I pray that I can find the strength to be as faithful, as dedicated and as courageous as he was in Your Service. May Your Light be that obvious in me, so those I encounter have no doubt of Your Influence in my life. Amen.
Hi, I’m Phil Malmstrom, a.k.a. Phather Phil. I’m self-employed, father of two wonderful young men, an ordained minister who delights in spreading Jesus’ Message of Hope and Love, a science-fiction junkie, an aspiring photographer and above all that one of God’s Children who rejoices in His Blessings each day.
Hi, I’m Phil Malmstrom, a.k.a. Phather Phil. I’m self-employed, father of two wonderful young men, an ordained minister who delights in spreading Jesus’ Message of Hope and Love, a science-fiction junkie, an aspiring photographer and above all that one of God’s Children who rejoices in His Blessings each day. 
