First off Father, I want to thank You for the weekend. As we discussed Friday, Shannon and I both went into it sick and we ended up spending most of the weekend inside. I did manage to sneak out a couple hours on Saturday with Jonathan for a trip to Barnes & Noble, and made a quick grocery run on Sunday but other than that it was a quiet, reserved couple of days. Thankfully, Shannon and I seem to be on the upside of this bug, but it’s obviously going to take a few more days to completely clear out. Either way, although our weekend didn’t exactly go as we planned I did get to spend lots of quality time with my family. 🙂
And then, Monday happened.
We were actually doing unusually well for a Monday morning Father. Everyone got up on time, got things together and out the door on schedule, and we made it to the kids’ school with time to spare. About 10 minutes after dropping them off however, came the call…
With no warning, Jonathan had vomited on his way to class. ~sigh~
I dropped my things at the office, and made my way back to school to retrieve him. He’d been complaining about some headaches for the last week or so, but other than that this was the only symptom he presented with. Unfortunately, because he still has a VP shunt in place we have to look at those two particular symptoms very carefully as they can indicate problems with it’s operation. I picked him up, made a call, and off to the pediatrician we went.
The wait to be seen at the doctor’s office was typical for a Monday morning; a little over an hour. We sat waiting in the truck (the office lobby was full), me spending time reading in Exodus on my Nook Color (I’m really enjoying my new toy) while Jonathan quietly played a puzzle game on my phone. When we finally got in to see the doctor the appointment was short and to the point, and we were quickly sent next door to have some sinus x-rays done. Those too, went without issue and about an hour later we received a call from the doctor indicating that his sinuses looked perfectly clear, and that if his symptoms persisted we would need to have Jonathan evaluated by his neurologist.
So… No immediate answers; just more questions.
Each time we get a reminder of Jonathan’s unique medical needs Father, it’s a vibrant flashback to some very scary times. For the most part, we’ve slipped back into “normality” in regards to his health; sniffles are just sniffles, not a trip to the emergency room at 2AM. When situations like this come up though, we’re thrust back into the world of the unknown and the “what if” scenarios. It’s a place we know far too well, and pray often to avoid.
And yet Father, I know in my heart that You’re with him. And armed with that bit of Truth, those “what ifs” aren’t nearly as frightening as they once were.
I still worry of course. That’s my job as his father, and I love him dearly. You’ve entrusted him to our care, and I’ll do whatever is required of me to honor that assignment. However, knowing that all the while he’s in Your Loving Arms brings amazing peace to my spirit. Thank You for that confidence Lord.
Heavenly Father, please continue to watch over Jonathan and bring to him Your Healing Touch. I thank You for the comfort of Your Presence, and pray that all those in need of reassurance can also feel that peace. Through Your Love Father, “what ifs” can truly become Amens. Amen.
Following the example I began last week Lord, today I’m celebrating another “Thankful Thursday” here at phatherphil.org. While I’m truly thankful all week long, I love the idea of spending our time together one day each week focusing my prayers on one particular Blessing that You’ve granted me. If nothing else, with all the love You’ve shown me Father, I should have enough material for an infinite number of Thursdays! 🙂
“When we consider the blessings of God–the gifts that add beauty and joy to our lives, that enable us to keep going through stretches of boredom and even suffering–friendship is very near the top.” – Donald W. McCullough, Mastering Personal Growth
Friendships have been at the forefront of my heart this past week Lord. Over the years, you’ve brought some truly amazing and wonderful people into my life. Some are still nearby, some have moved away and some have passed on to Your Kingdom, but all have left indelible footprints on my path. From these vessels of Your choosing Lord, I’ve gained wisdom, acceptance, fellowship and encouragement.
You’ve even used technology to connect us Father. Thanks to the staggering growth of the Internet, it seems as though no corner of the world is outside our reach these days. Through this conduit, I’ve been Blessed to connect with many beautiful souls whom I likely would never have encountered otherwise. Your Children in this “global fellowship” give me fresh perspective and inspiration, and have enriched my journey to no end.
Heavenly Father, I thank You for the many friendships and fellowships You’ve Blessed me with. I am a better man, and a better Child of God for those relationships.
“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)
For some time now Father, I’ve been feeling like You’ve been preparing me for something; teaching me hard lessons, tempering my faith and yet at the same time guiding me towards a destination somewhere “outside my box”. You’ve whispered messages of encouragement and direction into my heart, but as I called them in yesterday’s chat all those “puzzle pieces” just haven’t quite fit together yet. You told me there would be change in my life, You told me to “Expect something wonderful” and over and over again You told me to be steadfast and have Faith. I won’t sugar coat it Lord… The last year or so has been extremely difficult for me. But Father, somewhere during this time of trials something strange happened…
I found that I actually became more thankful for Your Blessings in my life, and have grown closer to You in the process.
I got to thinking about this quite a bit today, and I realized that it wasn’t the first time You’ve used hardships to teach me something important. In fact, the first time was what I consider to be the lowest point in my life and at the same time, the beginning of my understanding of what true Blessings are.
On December 14, 1999, you gave to us a wonderful, beautiful little boy whom we named Jonathan. As we’d been told for years that we couldn’t have our own biological children, Jonathan was deemed our “miracle baby”; little did we know how true that description was.
At Jonathan’s 10-week checkup, the pediatrician noticed that he looked awfully pale so she ordered some blood tests to be done. A few hours later in a flurry of anxious phone calls we were sent directly to A.I. Dupont Hospital for Children’s Oncology / Hematology department for an emergency appointment. The next several weeks to follow were to be honest, a blur. Test after test was done, and yet answers still seemed just out of everyone’s reach while terms like Leukemia, Anemia and Spherocytosis were tossed about between the physicians. Finally, on March 19th (coincidentally my 30th birthday) we were given the grim diagnosis. Jonathan had a rare disease called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis, and it had infiltrated multiple systems in his tiny little body. While the doctors were hesitant to give us any specifics about his prognosis, we were quietly informed that based on how far the disease had spread and the lack of information about it they gave him a 10 to 20% chance at best.
Shannon and I were absolutely devastated. I was lost Father, and hurt, and angry… oh was I angry.
You had started to bring me to You that day Father, although I didn’t know it at the time. We spent the majority of our time over the next 14 months living at the hospital, clinging to his life with all we had. From rounds of chemotherapy and steroids, to surgeries, to recovery protocols we stayed fast and hung our lives on every change in his condition.
I’d love to say that I prayed long, deep, faithful prayers Lord, but we both know that isn’t true. I was consumed by grief, and anger and fear. I have no doubt You were trying to talk to me then Father, but I was nothing resembling receptive.
And yet, You never left Jonathan’s side. I was broken, and lost and still You remained ever-faithful. Thank You so much for that Father. 🙂
It’s said that hindsight is 20/20, and in this case it’s an apt phrase. When I look back at that terrifying period of uncertainty in our lives, I realize that I needed to be there. In the midst of my darkest time, You were waving a lantern; pointing out things that had I not been forced to deal with, I would have never seen. It was a transformational and pivotal point in my life Lord, and it completely altered the path I’d been on. The lessons I learned in those years changed me in ways I’m still uncovering today.
Fast forward ten years time…
Life again took a new turn down the road of uncertainty. Between severe economic nightmares, the unexpected death of my best friend and a seemingly unending set of problems, the last year has been the most stressful period I’ve had since Jonathan’s illness was diagnosed. This time however, it’s different Father:
I know You’re here with me, ever-faithful, ever-vigilant. Even in my turmoil, I feel Your Peace.
See Lord, I learn. 🙂
Heavenly Father, I thank You for faithfully guiding me down the path You have laid out for me. Please keep my eyes open, my ears trained and my heart open for those whisperings You pass to me along the way. Amen.
As is my usual practice Father, I’d like to start our chat this morning by thanking You for the weekend. While I spent the bulk of it at home caring for a sick child and trying to catch up on housework, any time I get to spend with my family is a Blessing and I do appreciate it. Please continue to provide Aidan with Your Healing so that he may feel even better today, and help all of us shake off the “drowsies” that always follow the shift into daylight savings time.
As You know Father, I’ve had a troubled heart as of late. I faithfully try to lay my burdens in Your Capable Hands, but as the broken and limited being I am, I’m certainly not always successful. Seeking inspiration this morning, You placed this in my path :
“Cast your burden on the Lord—and He will sustain you.” Psalm 55:22
Cast your troubles where you have cast your sins; you have cast your sins onto Jesus—cast your troubles there also! As soon as the trouble comes, quick, the first thing, tell it to your Father in heaven! Remember, that the longer you take telling your trouble to God—the more your peace will be impaired. The longer the frost lasts—the more likely the ponds will be frozen.
Oh! It is a happy way of smoothing sorrow, when we can cast our burden upon the Lord. Oh, you agitated Christians, do not dishonor your religion by always wearing a ‘frown of concern’. Come, cast your burden upon the Lord. I see you staggering beneath a weight, which He would not feel. What seems to you a crushing burden—would be nothing but a bit of dust to Him. See! The Almighty bends His shoulders, and He says, “Here—put your troubles here!”
“Cast all your cares upon Him—because He cares about you!” 1 Peter 5:7
– Charles Spurgeon
What a wonderful and energetic sermon to pray on Father! Reading this, I realized that in many cases I tend to let problems and stresses build up inside me before talking with You about them. By the time they truly beset my spirit, I’ve let them grow into a much deeper hold on me than if I had just worked them through with You when they first presented.
Such a simple lesson that I’ve ministered to others more than once, and yet somehow I’ve allowed myself to fall into this trap.
Heavenly Father, thank You for placing this message in front of me today… I absolutely needed it. As I’ve said many times, I’m a work in progress and awed by Your Faithfulness in leading me along Your Path. Amen.
Well Father, it’s certainly been a roller-coaster of a week. You’ve been extremely “chatty” with me as of late and while I don’t completely understand these urgings You’re placing on my heart yet, I’m starting to put some of the pieces together. Either way Lord, I am paying attention. 🙂
Today Father, I’d like to lift a dear friend of mine up in prayer. He’s going through a very rough time at the moment, and he’s hurting deeply inside. He’s been an incredible support and Blessing both to myself and my business over the years, and has always encouraged me on my journey to Your Service. Please bring Your Healing Presence to his heart Father, and grant him the comfort he needs to be strong during this time of trial.
To close out the week Lord, I’d like to once again share some music that uplifts and inspires me. One of my favorite Christian Artists for many years has been Mark Schultz. He initially grabbed my attention almost ten years ago with “He’s My Son”, which I first heard while Jonathan was going through chemotherapy. Recently however, he seems to be coming out with one amazing new song after another. One of those that truly makes my heart swell is “Love Has Come” :
He’s a truly talented artist Father, and I can feel Your Love each time I hear this song. The chorus says it all :
“Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess
That God is love and love has come for us all
Every heart set free, every one will see
That God is love and love has come for us all”
Hi, I’m Phil Malmstrom, a.k.a. Phather Phil. I’m self-employed, father of two wonderful young men, an ordained minister who delights in spreading Jesus’ Message of Hope and Love, a science-fiction junkie, an aspiring photographer and above all that one of God’s Children who rejoices in His Blessings each day.
Hi, I’m Phil Malmstrom, a.k.a. Phather Phil. I’m self-employed, father of two wonderful young men, an ordained minister who delights in spreading Jesus’ Message of Hope and Love, a science-fiction junkie, an aspiring photographer and above all that one of God’s Children who rejoices in His Blessings each day. 
