Thankful Thursday: Through the Haze

Dear Lord; Happy Thankful Thursday Father!

Today Father, my thoughts are scattered.  While I slept reasonably well (five hours or so), I awoke feeling a bit on the “cloudy” side and I haven’t been able to shake it as of yet.  Funny enough however, even with my focus not being overly sharp I’ve had no problem putting together today’s Thankful Thursday Blessings list.  I love the fact that even when my human frailties present themselves, Your Blessings in my life still shine through the haze.  🙂

Continuing my list from last week Lord, this week I’m especially thankful for…

166. Having Shannon’s mother visiting with us for a few weeks.

167. Unexpected funds showing up exactly when we needed it.

168. New beginnings.

169. An “everything looks fine” report from Jonathan’s MRI.

170. A short break from the oppressively hot weather.

171. Your faithfulness to Your Children, even in our brokenness.

172. Connecting with others in ministry to support one another.

173. Finding deep-discounted treasures in the Christian Music section of a bookstore that’s going out of business.

174. “Tickle Monster” fights with the kids.

175. The Glo Bible Application for my computers.

176. Fresh sweet corn given away by a local farmer.

177. The calming voice of reason from good friends.

178. Ten years of “Normality”.

179. Quality free, open source photo editing and manipulation software.

180. Snuggling up with Shannon at night and watching episodes of classic TV programs.

Heavenly Father, once again I lift up my thanks and praise for the Blessings You surround us with each day; both those that are tangible, and those that remain silently unseen.  Keep us in Your watchful gaze, and guide our actions to best serve Your divine plan for our lives.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Normality Rocks

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

With Kay’s Kamp coming up in a little over a week Lord, and just having gone through Jonathan’s yearly Oncology exams and scans, my head and heart have been drifting back to some very turbulent and fearful times for our little family.  Being helplessly thrown into that uncertain world of doctors, chemotherapy, steroids, surgeries and rescue protocols took Shannon and I to an entirely new place in our marriage, and tested our commitment and resolve to each other by fire each day.  It was a harrowing time in our lives, and one that has shaped our family this last ten years to a great extent.

I didn’t know You then Lord… I mean, I knew OF You, but I certainly wasn’t walking with You at the time.  What I did know is that I was angry as Hell at You for doing this to us; for torturing my son that way, and for making us live in fear and pain.  I blamed You for all of it Father, every little bit.  And somewhere in the midst of all of that turmoil, I hit rock bottom…

And You were there to pick me up.

I’ll be honest Father, I didn’t realize it was You at the time.  I do know however, that somewhere in that dark, terrifying place I began to see things through different eyes.  It wasn’t that Jonathan was improving drastically, but instead of focusing on the despair I’d been feeling while walking down those long, bleached hallways at A.I. Dupont, I started noticing signs of kindness, and love, and hope that somehow I’d missed before.  It was a turning point… no, a starting point in my life, and one I’m still thankful for today.

So therefore Father, today I’d like to thank You.  Thank you for new beginnings… for faithfulness to a broken, scared child… for Your healing light inside Jonathan… and for ten years of normality.

Yes Lord, we still have trials in our lives, and pain, and uncertainty.  But now we also have the knowledge and comfort that You’re with us on this journey; guiding us, nurturing us, and picking us up when we stumble on the Path.  You see, I’ve realized that “normal” doesn’t mean that life moves along smoothly, it means that we understand and Accept that life is a journey of Your Design, and embrace it as the amazing Gift it is.

Normality rocks.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Unplugging from the World

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

I have a confession to make Father:

I’m a chronic multitasker.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been one of those people who delights in doing several things at the same time.  My brain tends to work on overdrive most of the time, processing stimuli from a number of different directions all at once and reacting accordingly.  Combine that with the amazing array of smartphones, tablets, personal organizers and computers that pervade my world, and I spend quite a bit of my day on overload.  And while it’s been a useful condition over the years for dealing with a rapidly moving business environment, I’ve come to realize that in many cases my predilection for multitasking is not only problematic, but can be unhealthy as well…

I have significant problems with insomnia.

I get frustrated easily when things around me don’t “keep up”.

I suffer from high blood pressure and hypertension.

My patience with others can become very limited.

I find that when I don’t accomplish as much as I expected to, it leads to feelings of self-doubt.

Thankfully Father, with Your help I’ve been making some headway in controlling this side of my persona.  By deliberately choosing to focus my attention on one project at a time, and listening to Your Voice for guidance all the while, I find I actually achieve more and at the same time gain the strength and peace of Your Presence as well.  I’ve also been doing some things to “disconnect” myself from the high-speed world around me such as…

Limiting my smartphone usage to emergencies and family needs only outside of working hours (this has been a difficult change for me).

Not spending time logged into Facebook, Twitter or social networking sites when I’m home in the evenings.

Going for long walks in the woods, along the shore, or other places where I can dwell in Your Abundance.

Spending quiet time in prayer, studying Scripture or reading other Christian-focused books.

Taking time out of the workday for a Stillness Sabbatical now and again.

Writing out these conversations we have each day.

While I realize that we live in a world that emphasizes constant connectivity and productivity Lord, I’m finding that as my Walk with You progresses my time spent in simpler pursuits is far more satisfying.  I’m not planning on finding a cave and becoming a hermit mind You, but I am enjoying the balance and clarity that comes from “unplugging” from the world, and “plugging” into You.  🙂

Amen.

~Phather Phil

Meditations Monday: Bridging the Chasm

Dear Lord; Happy Meditations Monday Father!

Today Father, I’d like to start the week by thanking You from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful vacation You Graced us with last week.  The weather was gorgeous, the scenery was breathtaking and all of us had a fantastic time away together.  For the first time since starting my business in 1997, I actually made a conscious decision to leave my mobile phone in the cabin and not call into the office each day… It was a practice that I’ll certainly be repeating on future trips.  The personal impact of using that time to focus on my family and on Your Presence, and to recharge my spiritual and emotional batteries can’t be overstated.  It was truly a Blessing to all of us, and I thank You wholeheartedly.

Today’s Meditations Monday Scripture reading comes from the book of John, and addresses an issue that all followers of Christ deal with at some point in their Walk; Disdain and in some cases, persecution for our Faith.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.  If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own.  As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.  That is why the world hates you.  Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.  If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.  If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.  They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me.” – John 15:18-21 (NIV)

Now Lord, I don’t know of any cases where I’ve been outwardly hated for my relationship with You.  However, I have been aware more than once of some people avoiding my company because of the public emphasis I place on Your Word and Your Presence in my life.  These daily chats, along with my outreach efforts and scripture postings make some people uncomfortable, leading them to shy away.  By drawing the division between “children of the world” and the “children of God”, Jesus warns us that the rift between the two would lead to such conflicts, and to not be surprised by it.  Instead, we’re charged to reveal Your Light within us and allow it to bridge the chasm through signs and examples of Your Gracious Love.  The important thing to remember is this; although we will likely see hardships and resistance as Christians in a confused and troubled world, by keeping our gaze fixed firmly on Jesus, we’re assured the strength and peace to stand firm against the world around us.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 (NIV)

It’s lovely to be back Father.  🙂

Amen.

~Phather Phil

If You Prick Me…

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

Today Father, my prayers are focused on my son Jonathan and my wife Shannon as they spend time at the A.I. Dupont Hospital for Children.  The appointment today wasn’t expected to be a big deal; simply an MRI with and without contrast to check and make sure that Jonathan’s LCH was still behaving itself.  As the scans were going to take a while and required Jonathan be perfectly still, the plan was to sedate him so that he could sleep through the process.  This seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea and after he’d been given some Versed to relax him a bit beforehand they got him ready for the procedure…

And then he saw the IV needle.  He was no longer relaxed.

Jonathan has a very serious fear of needles Father, and from what Shannon described he changed instantly from my gentle, loveable little boy into a raving, angry, terrified child.  In the end, they had to give him general anesthesia (gas) to get him under for the scans, requiring a longer stay at the hospital and leaving Shannon emotionally exhausted in the process.

Following the phone conversation with Shannon bringing me up to speed on the day’s events, I started thinking about the fear Jonathan must have been feeling at that moment.  His dread of needles has deep-seated roots, far beyond what he remembers.  As an infant, Jonathan’s disease and subsequent treatments required he be all too familiar with the prick of a needle.  And even though he’s not had to endure a large number of sticks since that time, there’s an underlying anxiety that grips him whenever he requires one.

So, how to address this fear with him Lord?  Well, if we examine Your Word there’s quite a bit of wisdom to draw on.  As I know Jonathan reads this Father, I’d like to use the rest of our time today to pass some of those thoughts along to him here if I may…

Dearest Jonathan,

“For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.” – Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

Whatever pain, fear or trials we face in this life, we need not be afraid because God never leaves our side.  He’s stayed close to you all of your life, and seen you through amazing hardships.  When fear grips your heart and threatens to take control, I want you to close your eyes and feel God’s Hand firmly grasping yours.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

The Lord desires that we show our character and faith in him through acts of trust.  Courage isn’t the absence of fear Jonathan, it’s having fear and yet doing what you know is right with the knowledge that God will give you the strength to get you through when you lay those burdens at His feet.

“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV)

We weren’t created to rely completely on our own strength Jonathan.  We get tired, and stressed, and scared.  Thankfully, we have our Heavenly Father to hold us up and provide us that “Holy Nudge” to get us through when we call on Him.  I see so much of God’s Light in you, and when you seek His help I know that you’ll find it in abundance.

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

I love you kiddo.

Amen.

~Dad (Phather Phil)