In His Hand…

Dear Lord; Good evening Father!

Well Father, we certainly did talk a lot today.  From a rough start between Shannon and the kids this morning, to a fearful trip taking our dog Hunny to the Veterinarian this afternoon, I’ve had a lot of prayers in my heart and on my lips.  Thank You for staying by my side Lord… Your Presence was very apparent.

As You know Father, in our house we consider our pets part of the family.  Along with the two-legged members of the household, we have four little dogs, a kitten we took in last year, a couple aquatic turtles and a tank full of fish.  Needless to say Lord, life is abundant in our home at all times.

The two older dogs; Brandy who’s 17 and Hunny who just turned 16 have been exhibiting increasing symptoms of age as of late, so their care requirements have obviously increased.  Along with age however, last year we found out that Hunny has some additional medical issues as well.  It all began when she started having bouts of intermittent “hacking” coughs which would go on for several minutes.  We took her to the veterinarian, and after a number of tests and x-rays it was determined that she suffered from an enlarged heart which was beginning to affect her breathing.  We discussed options with the doctor, and although there was no cure for her condition there were some diet and exercise changes that we could make that would help extend her life and make her more comfortable as well.  She responded well to the changes, and while the cough still showed up from time to time, she appeared to be doing better…

Until last week.

The cough came back, with a vengeance.  This time though, it wasn’t restricted to intermittent bouts of coughing, but hours of deep, throaty hacking.  We tried to keep her calm and comfortable, but the symptoms continued to worsen.  As of last night, the cough was continuous and nothing I could do seemed to help her.  She finally collapsed into sleep after hours of obvious discomfort.

Needless to say Father, rest didn’t come easy for me last night.  I know You heard me, both in my prayers and the pleas I kept silent as well.

I arranged an appointment for Hunny to be seen this afternoon, fully aware of the potential of what could be needed.  The possibilities weighed on my heart Lord, but I felt You with me on that long ride; reminding me that You were with me, that Hunny was Your Creation, and that whatever the outcome that You cared for her.

“In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” – Job 12:10

I’m thankful Father, that Your Voice is always there to comfort and guide me, and that the doctor’s examination showed some room for optimism that she’ll be with us for a bit longer.  We were sent home with some medication to help her breathe, to fight off a bronchial infection, and to get some rest.  While I know that her condition won’t go away, it’s a Blessing that we don’t have to lose her just yet.  🙂

Heavenly Father, thank You for remaining ever-faithful and staying by my side each day.  In the shadow of having to make a difficult decision, It emboldened me to know that I had Your Divine Guidance to lead me.  I pray that Your Presence is felt by all those facing such uncertainty.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

My Heart Cries for Her

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

A couple weeks ago Lord, I spoke with You at length about one of the children from Kay’s Kamp and how he was desperately in need of Your Presence.  Well, as I know You’re aware his physical condition has since declined, and he’s not been doing well as of late.

This evening, I read a new entry from his mother’s journal at CaringBridge.org and it brought me to tears.  It was posted on Mother’s Day, and reading it I felt her frustration, and her pain, and her anguish at watching her son endure these trials.

I’ve been where she is… And my heart cries for her Lord.

I know that we don’t have the “Big Picture” Father, and that while on this Earth we never will.  I know that all throughout our times of pain, and suffering, and grief that You’re by our side, whether we see that at the time, or not.  I know that You love us more than we can possibly comprehend Lord…

But my heart cries for her all the same.

When Your plan for our family led us to these remarkable children Father, I knew I had been forever altered.  I see things now that I could never have even begun to comprehend before, and yet I still feel like I have so much to learn.  My eyes and heart have been opened in ways that only You understand, but I have so far left to travel in Your Service.  I know of Your Wonder and Infinite Love for us all…

And yet my heart cries for her all the same.

Heavenly Father, please bring Your Healing and Comfort to this little boy and his mother.  They’re tired Lord, and frightened, and in desperate need of Your Divine Presence.  Whatever Your Plan is for them Father, please let them feel Your Loving Arms about them and know Your Peace.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

P.S. The journal and information on this courageous little boy and his mother can be found at : http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dorianh.  Please keep them in your prayers during this difficult time.

Angels in Waiting

Dear Lord; Happy Wednesday Father!

This evening Lord, my heart is heavy.

As we’ve discussed a number of times before, a huge Blessing in Jonathan’s life over the last couple years has been his involvement with Kay’s Kamp.  It’s a wonderful organization, and it’s meant so much to Jonathan to have that connection with children who share and understand his medical situation.  The bonds he’s formed with that group have been amazing, and we’re very thankful to be part of their “family”.

Over the rest of the year when Kamp isn’t in session, the Kay’s Kamp staff is wonderful about keeping everyone in contact with each other, and in passing along any important events that may occur so that everyone can come together when needed.  Today, I heard from them… and it wasn’t happy news.

One of the Kampers’ medical condition has deteriorated, and he and his mother are in need of Your Comfort Father.

Whenever we come up against news like this, it hits us extremely hard Lord.  We’ve worn those shoes, and I believe it’s one of the most difficult things that anyone can deal with in this lifetime.  When I received the email, past realities flooded back to me and my heart caved knowing what they must be feeling.  Although we’ve been truly Blessed that Jonathan’s disease has stayed in remission so far, the fact it still lives in him becomes much more real when we see others in that situation suffering.  I realize we don’t have the “Big Picture” Father, and that You’re still in control even in cases like this, but those answers can seem very distant when our spirit cries for those in pain.

Heavenly Father, please bring Your Divine Healing to this little one and his mother.  Let them know Your Love and Comfort, and the Eternal Hope that Christ brought to us all.  Your Light is strong in these families Lord, and I pray that they see it and feel Your Peace in this time of turmoil and darkness.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

P.S. For further information on this remarkable little boy and his struggle, they have a web page at: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dorianh .  Please pray for them.

Second Guessing Our Blessings

Dear Lord; Good evening Father!

As You’re aware Father, I’ve struggled with high blood pressure for quite some years now.  It’s one of the few true health issues I’ve had, but has always been reasonably well controlled through medication.  Therefore, other than the ritual of taking my pill each day I’ve for the most part been able to forget that the problem exists.

Until a month ago.

Due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, Shannon and I lost our health care insurance effective the beginning of April.  We’ve been researching a number of options to correct it, but so far none have been found that fits our needs or our budget.  Thankfully, Shannon’s medications are all generics and therefore reasonable to purchase without the insurance, however my blood pressure prescription is not which makes it a bit expensive.  On top of that, our Primary Care Physician closed his practice at the end of February, so my options for looking into alternate medications are extremely limited.  Weighing all these items in my head, I therefore made a decision to try and go without the blood pressure pills for a while, and see how I made out.

This was not one of my better ideas Father.

Over the course of the next couple weeks, my BP slowly began to rise and I started reverting to the pre-medication days where ringing in my ears, headaches and uncomfortable chest pains were the norm.  I of course prayed for relief Lord, oh I prayed, but the symptoms continued to get worse.

Then I realized Father, You’d already given me relief, I’d just decided to stop taking advantage of it.

Your solution for me hadn’t changed Father, I was simply trying to second guess You by looking for an “easier” option.  Just because the remedy was a more difficult path than it used to be didn’t mean it still wasn’t the proper choice.  As the Apostle Paul reminded us in First Corinthians:

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)

Needless to say, I went and bought the medication and started taking it last Saturday.  It’ll take a week or so to level me out again, but I’ve already started feeling somewhat better.

Heavenly Father, please help me keep focused on Your Blessings and true plan for me each day.  Guide my decisions to honor Your Will, and direct my gaze to not seek answers outside Your Wishes.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

Come to me, all you who are weary

Dear Lord; Good morning Father!

Well Father, it feels a little odd to be writing to You on a Saturday morning.  As You’re aware, I’m a reasonably schedule-driven person, so when I got home last night and heard You tell me to “just rest” it went against my grain just a bit.  But I listened, and I’m thankful for Your Guidance.  Between sleep deprivation from a week of insomnia, hectic work schedules and the daily family and household duties, I was truly wiped.  It was wonderful to have the opportunity to just curl up on the couch with the kids and enjoy a movie together.  I’m glad You always know what I need, especially when I’m too stubborn to admit it.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  – Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

What a beautiful and powerful promise Lord!  Only in You do I find the comfort and rest I need for my tarnished spirit.  Thank You so much for Your Faithful Care of us all.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your Guidance and Support in this season of my life.  I pray that we all can experience the rest You Provide us, and find strength and delight in Your Divine Presence.  Amen.

~Phather Phil