Turn Weakness Into Strength

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

First off Father, I want to thank You for a wonderful three-day weekend.  As we discussed in my post on Friday, this Memorial Day weekend was especially emotional and special for us as we celebrated the fact that it’s been 10 years this month since Jonathan’s last chemotherapy treatment.  To mark this milestone, we held a fairly large BBQ at the house (50+ people) on Sunday afternoon, attended by many of those whom have been involved with, or touched by Jonathan’s journey.  It was a joyous event, and Your Presence was felt in abundance.

Yet while we celebrated the life You’ve continued to Grace us with Father, my thoughts and prayers were very much splintered.  Last week I was made aware of several other families fighting that dark battle that we had come through those 10 years back.  While my heart was full with the amazing Blessing of Jonathan’s remission, at the same time it ached, confronted by the news that others were now living with that fear and uncertainty.  Therefore Lord, it seemed appropriate to start this week’s conversations with a prayer of healing for those going through this turmoil.  I wasn’t able to locate a definitive source for this prayer, but it says beautifully what I’ve been praying for:

Dear Lord of Mercy and Father of Comfort,

You are the One I turn to for help in moments of weakness and times of need. I ask You to be with Your servant in this illness. Psalm 107:20 says that You send out Your Word and heal. So then, please send Your healing Word to Your servant. In the name of Jesus, drive out all infirmity and sickness from his body.

Dear Lord, I ask You to turn this weakness into strength, suffering into compassion, sorrow into joy, and pain into comfort for others. May Your servant trust in Your goodness and hope in Your faithfulness, even in the middle of this suffering. Let him be filled with patience and joy in Your presence as he waits for Your healing touch.

Please restore Your servant to full health, dear Father. Remove all fear and doubt from his heart by the power of Your Holy Spirit, and may You, Lord, be glorified through his life.

As You heal and renew Your servant, Lord, may he bless and praise You.

All of this I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

~Phather Phil

In Your Loving Arms

Dear Lord; Happy Monday Father!

Today Father, my heart grieves for the mother of one of Your Children who lost his battle with cancer yesterday, and has left us to join You in Your Kingdom.  His earthly trials are over Lord, and he triumphs in Your Presence, and for that my heart rejoices.  His mother, family and friends however have a piece missing from their lives that will mourn his passing nonetheless.  I pray for Your Healing and Comfort to all those missing Dorian’s light today Father, and ask that You keep them in Your Loving Arms so they may know the joy he’s experiencing with You now.

Searching for words of comfort Lord, I came across a poetic prayer written by Edgar A. Guest that touched my heart so deeply that I wanted to share it here:

A Child of Mine by Edgar A. Guest

“I’ll lend you for a little while
A child of mine,” God said,
“For you to have the while he lives,
And mourn for when he’s dead.

It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three;
But will you ’till I call him back
Take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you
And, should his stay be brief,
You’ll have his lovely memories
As a solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return;
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked the whole world over
In search for teachers true;
And from the throngs that crowd life’s land,
I have chosen you.

Now, will you give him all your love
Nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take
This lent child back again?”

I fancied that I heard them say:
“Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joys Thy child will bring
The risk of grief we’ll run.

We’ll shower him with tenderness,
We’ll love him while we may.
And for the happiness we’ve known
Forever grateful stay.

But should Thy angel call for him
Much sooner than we’ve planned,
We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand.”

Amen.

~Phather Phil

P.S. For those who haven’t been following Dorian’s struggle, his mother has a page at CaringBridge.org which can be found here.

In His Hand…

Dear Lord; Good evening Father!

Well Father, we certainly did talk a lot today.  From a rough start between Shannon and the kids this morning, to a fearful trip taking our dog Hunny to the Veterinarian this afternoon, I’ve had a lot of prayers in my heart and on my lips.  Thank You for staying by my side Lord… Your Presence was very apparent.

As You know Father, in our house we consider our pets part of the family.  Along with the two-legged members of the household, we have four little dogs, a kitten we took in last year, a couple aquatic turtles and a tank full of fish.  Needless to say Lord, life is abundant in our home at all times.

The two older dogs; Brandy who’s 17 and Hunny who just turned 16 have been exhibiting increasing symptoms of age as of late, so their care requirements have obviously increased.  Along with age however, last year we found out that Hunny has some additional medical issues as well.  It all began when she started having bouts of intermittent “hacking” coughs which would go on for several minutes.  We took her to the veterinarian, and after a number of tests and x-rays it was determined that she suffered from an enlarged heart which was beginning to affect her breathing.  We discussed options with the doctor, and although there was no cure for her condition there were some diet and exercise changes that we could make that would help extend her life and make her more comfortable as well.  She responded well to the changes, and while the cough still showed up from time to time, she appeared to be doing better…

Until last week.

The cough came back, with a vengeance.  This time though, it wasn’t restricted to intermittent bouts of coughing, but hours of deep, throaty hacking.  We tried to keep her calm and comfortable, but the symptoms continued to worsen.  As of last night, the cough was continuous and nothing I could do seemed to help her.  She finally collapsed into sleep after hours of obvious discomfort.

Needless to say Father, rest didn’t come easy for me last night.  I know You heard me, both in my prayers and the pleas I kept silent as well.

I arranged an appointment for Hunny to be seen this afternoon, fully aware of the potential of what could be needed.  The possibilities weighed on my heart Lord, but I felt You with me on that long ride; reminding me that You were with me, that Hunny was Your Creation, and that whatever the outcome that You cared for her.

“In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” – Job 12:10

I’m thankful Father, that Your Voice is always there to comfort and guide me, and that the doctor’s examination showed some room for optimism that she’ll be with us for a bit longer.  We were sent home with some medication to help her breathe, to fight off a bronchial infection, and to get some rest.  While I know that her condition won’t go away, it’s a Blessing that we don’t have to lose her just yet.  🙂

Heavenly Father, thank You for remaining ever-faithful and staying by my side each day.  In the shadow of having to make a difficult decision, It emboldened me to know that I had Your Divine Guidance to lead me.  I pray that Your Presence is felt by all those facing such uncertainty.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

My Heart Cries for Her

Dear Lord; Happy Tuesday Father!

A couple weeks ago Lord, I spoke with You at length about one of the children from Kay’s Kamp and how he was desperately in need of Your Presence.  Well, as I know You’re aware his physical condition has since declined, and he’s not been doing well as of late.

This evening, I read a new entry from his mother’s journal at CaringBridge.org and it brought me to tears.  It was posted on Mother’s Day, and reading it I felt her frustration, and her pain, and her anguish at watching her son endure these trials.

I’ve been where she is… And my heart cries for her Lord.

I know that we don’t have the “Big Picture” Father, and that while on this Earth we never will.  I know that all throughout our times of pain, and suffering, and grief that You’re by our side, whether we see that at the time, or not.  I know that You love us more than we can possibly comprehend Lord…

But my heart cries for her all the same.

When Your plan for our family led us to these remarkable children Father, I knew I had been forever altered.  I see things now that I could never have even begun to comprehend before, and yet I still feel like I have so much to learn.  My eyes and heart have been opened in ways that only You understand, but I have so far left to travel in Your Service.  I know of Your Wonder and Infinite Love for us all…

And yet my heart cries for her all the same.

Heavenly Father, please bring Your Healing and Comfort to this little boy and his mother.  They’re tired Lord, and frightened, and in desperate need of Your Divine Presence.  Whatever Your Plan is for them Father, please let them feel Your Loving Arms about them and know Your Peace.  Amen.

~Phather Phil

P.S. The journal and information on this courageous little boy and his mother can be found at : http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dorianh.  Please keep them in your prayers during this difficult time.

Spiritually Malnourished

Dear Lord; Happy Monday Father!

Today Father, as You know my thoughts and prayers were very much reaching towards Shannon as she began her new job.  This transition has weighed heavily on her heart, but today went very well and I believe she’s feeling better about her decision now.  Either way, thank You for watching over her today and every day, and guiding her along this path.

Mondays are generally busy days in my office Lord.  And while it’s wonderful from a business perspective to be inundated with work, days like today can hold my focus to the point of excluding other important activities from the list… like eating.

I really meant to take a break and get some food today, but it just never happened.  One project led into another until I looked at the clock and it was already after 4:00pm.  Driving home, I had to pause for a few moments as I got a little light-headed… not a good sign for me.  By the time I got to the house, I was tired, hungry, and even a bit on the grumpy side.

Very much like when I haven’t talked to You in a while Father… Spiritually malnourished.

With the crazy schedules we maintain these days, spending dedicated time with You can sometimes be slid aside by activities we feel are more pressing and immediate.  The catch-22 is of course, that maintaining a tight personal relationship with You is just as vital to our well-being as is food to eat, or air to breathe.  When we don’t spend that “meal time” with You each day, we suffer as a whole.

Nourish me Father…  Feed my desperate spirit.

Heavenly Father, thank You for the Blessings You bestow on us each day.  Please fill us with Your Presence, and sustain us through Your Word to lead the lives You Will for us.  Amen.

~Phather Phil